and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
