Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
