y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
