I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
