RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
