So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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