Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Randomize
