The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
