Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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