I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Terrible idea I love it
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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