the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
