And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
