no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
