I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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