Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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