I don't think brook has ever known best
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
