If that was your dad, he is hot
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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