She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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