how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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