u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
