he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Panties = found
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
