he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Are my feet made of real feet?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
