The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
