her vagina looked like bernie madoff
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
