508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
