he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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