I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
