Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
