That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
