wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
