just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We are all done wearing pants today
You are a genius and a whore.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
