I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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