I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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