Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Two words: blizzard sex
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
