I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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