I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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