STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
