She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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