Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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