Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
