Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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