my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
