U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
