Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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