Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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