She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
