fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
