I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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