Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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