I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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