pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
