Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
